I’ve spent the last week swimming in baby items. Most of which were Toby’s. The switch over of the nursery has hit me in waves. I feel joy & love in my heart in places that have been so broken and painful for 25 months, it scares me. Then the pain begins and the tears […]
Today was a hard day. Pregnancy after loss is so hard. There is hope, yes, but the moments that need to happen before a Rainbow arrives are so challenging. I’ve talked before about how Toby’s room has remained the same since the day he died. Today, much of that changed. This is our choice. This […]
This is the last picture we have as a family of four. I was forcefully reminded as I started my morning commute today that this is the week I hate. The recurring flashbacks of those final days for our family, of what we thought was a normal week. Crazy mornings trying to get Toby […]
Lucas will start Pre-K this fall. With his first school application, we had to write a letter about our family. I was absolutely not ready for this. I knew we’d have to do it one day and know this is only the start of these conversations with teachers, administration, coaches, and families that we will […]
August holds my fear. It holds my happiness and feeling of wholeness. August is where ‘who I was’ lives and ‘who I became’ appeared. August holds my sons last breath. It holds my whole heart. August holds captive my sons future and every motherly wish I could ever have for him. As I stand on […]
